A collection of Otis’s most precious moments.
this photoset is more rewarding than anything i could be learning in class rn
(via zephyr-writes)
A collection of Otis’s most precious moments.
this photoset is more rewarding than anything i could be learning in class rn
(via zephyr-writes)
lalala it’s almost 5, why am i still awake…?
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WE’RE TALKING SOME AMERICAN APPLE SCONES BULLSHIT, HERE! TIME FOR SOME CLASSY-ASS TEA PARTIES, YOU MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKERS!
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c. butter chilled
2 small apples (or 1 large) peeled, cored and shredded
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
(SMALLER BELOW)
2 Tbsp milk
2 Tbsp white sugar
1 tsp cinnamon, divided
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cloves
RISE LIKE A PHEONIX FROM YOUR PREVIOUSLY BORING EXISTENCE! SHRIEK THE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY TO THE SKIES TO SUMMON THE AFOREMENTIONED INGREDIENTS TO YOUR FIERCE BOSOM.
PLAY THE ELECTRIC VIOLIN VERSION OF ‘BACK IN BLACK’ UNTIL THE LARGER AMOUNTS OF FLOUR, SUGAR, BAKING POWDER, BAKING SODA AND SALT THROW THEMSELVES INTO A LARGE BOWL.
PREHEAT YOUR DAMN OVEN TO 425F (220 degrees C)
CUT IN THE BUTTER! BUTTER MUST BE COLD! LIKE, FRESH OUT OF THE FRIDGE COLD. MAYBE EVEN FROZEN-COLD. CUBE YOUR BUTTER INTO TINY-ASS CHUNKS AND DROP THEM INDIVIDUALLY INTO THE POWDERY WHITE GOODNESS.
FLUFF ALL THE CUBES IN, THEN ATTACK IT VIOLENTLY WITH A FORK, UNTIL EVERYTHING IS CRUMBLY!
YOU WANT TO GET THIS SHIT DONE ASAP, BEFORE THE BUTTER STARTS TO WARM!
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS BULLSHIT?
CUTTING IN THE BUTTER PROPERLY MAKES BAKED GOODS SO FLUFFY THAT THE AVERAGE SEXUAL PERSON IS KNOWN TO IMMEDIATELY DEMAND GRATIFICATION AFTER CONSUMPTION.
NON-SEXUAL PEOPLE TEND TO GET WARRIOR-LIKE AND PERFORM FEATS OF SKILL AND CUNNING, SCREAMING THEIR PLEASURE TO THE HEAVENS.
IT’S HARDCORE MAN, SO CUT IN YOUR BUTTER PROPERLY!
ONCE THIS SHIT’S CRUMBLY WITH ALL THE BUTTER, ADD THE SHREDDED APPLE, 2 TBS MILK, APPLESAUCE, CINNAMON, NUTMEG AND CLOVES.
STIR GENTLY UNTIL IT FORMS A GORGEOUS-ASS, SOFT, FLUFFY DOUGH.
LIGHTLY DUST FLOUR OVER A SURFACE.
WHAT SURFACE?
A FLAT ONE, ASSHOLE!
YOU CAN LINE IT WITH WAX PAPER IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE WEIRDOS WHO HAVE TEXTURED COUNTERTOPS. THE FLOUR IS SO OUR PRECIOUS DOUGH DOESN’T STICK TO YOUR CHOSEN SURFACE.
KNEAD IT OUT 8-10 TIMES.
YES, COUNT IT OUT. THIS SHIT’S LIKE MATH OR POTIONS CLASS. BE SPECIFIC AND DELIBERATE!
NOW PAT IT INTO TWO 6-INCH ROUND CIRCLES, BRUSH THE TOPS WITH SOME MILK, THEN SPRINKLE CINNAMON AND SUGAR ON TOP LIKE YOU’RE DELIVERING POISON TO YOUR ENEMIES. ENOUGH TO BE EFFECTIVE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH SO THAT IT’S SUPER OBVIOUS.
USE A BIG-ASS KNIFE TO CUT THESE BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKERS INTO 6 WEDGES
GENTLY DROP-KICK INTO YOUR OVEN AND BAKE FOR 12-15 MINUTES, OR UNTIL BROWNED AND RISEN.
THIS RECIPE MAKES 12 SCONES, SO YOUR FACE BETTER BE HUNGRY!
(via misscynomys)
WELLA THING PEOPLE DON’T SEEM TO REALIZE IS THAT ALL BUTTERFLIES ARE MOTHS
BUT NOT ALL MOTHS ARE BUTTERFLIES (there was yelling about this)andMOTHS ARE WAY PRETTIER WOW like
ok
PEOPLE ARE LIKE OH MOTHS ARE SO BORING AND GREY
YEAH SHUT THE FUCK UP because there are so many beautiful colorful moths which i won’t even go into here becuase!! people tend to know about those
and people say EW MOTH?? well this comic is a pretty good REBUTTAL (linking to my reblog of it because it’s quickest)
AND YOU THINK MOTHERS ARE BORING HEY
WHAT ABOUT THE EVOLUTION OF THE PATTERN ON THE PEPPERED MOTH’S WINGS
MOTHS ARE BAD BITCHES AND BUTTERFLIES ARE THEIR FLIGHTY VAPID COUSINS BYE
I didn’t realize the butterfly-moth relation??? THAT’S AWESOME, WOW.
THAT COMIC IS GREAT.
PEPPERED MOTHS ARE AMAZING AND HAVE THE BEST STORY. We read about them in class a couple of times. NO BIG DEAL, THEY JUST HELPED PEOPLE DISCOVER NATURAL SELECTION.
Moths are lovely, I agree~
misscynomys replied to your post: there’s a sweater i want to make help
omg
MOTH SWEATER. HOW ARE PEOPLE SO TALENTED.
HAVE WE EVER DISCUSSED HOW I FEEL ABOUT MOTHS
I don’t think so??? BUT you sent me pictures of that moth exhibit you visited, which was great. Tell me about your moth feelings, Bonnie.
misscynomys replied to your post: there’s a sweater i want to make help
omg

MOTH SWEATER. HOW ARE PEOPLE SO TALENTED.
PUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLESPLASHSPLASHSPHALPUDDLEPUDDLEPUDDLE
(Source: animeshawty, via zephyr-writes)
This is reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyREALLY COOL
Wow!
(Source: unicorn-meat-is-too-mainstream, via mad-as-a-marine-biologist)